Dear Husband to Be,
What up yo? I mean, how's it going? We haven't talked in a bit. Have we even crossed each other's thoughts? I ignored you on Valentine's, and through all that mushy advertised planned commercial mumbo jumbo (key to my heart: creative, thoughtful and simple). I think I felt sorry for myself for a minute, but honestly it's March now and I can't really remember. I think I remember feeling myself looking (unfairly) to that boy of mine placing an unrealistic expectation on him to fill my void. All I wanted was an exchange of love letters. I would do that with him even if I was married. And even if he were a girl. I think it's sweet and simple and lovely (everyone wants to hear how much they are loved). But when the letter exchange didn't happen and I curled up in a ball inside I knew I was taking it to a whole other place. Again, it'll be so much simpler when you are involved...right? (as much as it comforts, that thought also kind of pisses me off that I can't just accomplish it all in the grand way I want on my own). And why can't I? I TOTALLY CAN....ugh, I'm getting all hot and bothered again.
Okay, so I think I'm particularly fragile right now and needing to just close up the computer to fall into my cozy bed and start again tomorrow.
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hilarious that i just thought, "oh, you can't handle me being fragile and i can only write to you when i'm in a good/right/acceptable/appropriate state of mind?" so, did you know we just had our first fight?:) you don't even have to participate! geez, you've got your work cut out for you is all i'm sayin.
Your Sweetheart to Be,
Stephanie
